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PROFESSOR JONKIN'S CANNIBAL PLANT
by Howard R. Garis
Howard Roger Garis (1873-1962) is
best
known to readers as the creator of Uncle Wiggily: the
floppy-eared rabbit in topcoat and hat who has entertained
children (and adults) from 1910 through the present day. Uncle
Wiggily, however, was not the only writing that Garis did during
the course of his career and in the years just after his marriage
in 1900, he produced a remarkable amount of fiction.
Between 1901 and 1908, Garis was employed as a reporter at
the Newark Evening News and had his own schedule for
getting things done. During his down time at the paper, he would
work on story ideas in the form of sketches and outlines or do
research. In the evenings, he would flesh out the story ideas and
type them up into a finished product. It is not known how many
stories Garis wrote during this period, but by all accounts
between his story sales, wife Lilian's writing and the
newspaper job, the family was financially well off. How he found
the time to work full time for the paper, write stories, research
and write five novels and also do other writing is rather a
mystery. Some would even consider this a grueling schedule,
writing from morning until night, but Garis enjoyed what he was
doing and never considered writing to be work.
One group of writings that has survived from this period is
the Professor Jonkin series. Garis wrote thirteen stories
featuring the good Professor and the first tale, "Professor
Jonkin's Cannibal Plant" (reprinted below), appeared in
the August, 1905 issue of Argosy. The basic plot of each
tale seems to be that Professor Jonkin, an extrememly competent,
but eccentric, scientist performs an experiment with one end in
mind, only to have his work backfire in a rather calamitous
fashion. With titles like "Professor Jonkin and the Busier
Bees" (lightning bugs crossed with bees so they can work
24/7) or "Professor Jonkin and the Winged Elephant" (an
elephant crossed with a mosquito), one can easily see how the
series captured the imagination of Argosy readers.
Unfortunately, outside of the first story of the series, none of
the others have ever been reprinted and, unless someone has
access to issues of Argosy from nearly a century ago,
they may be lost to future readers. The second hand descriptions
of the stories suggest that their style is similar to this first
story: a tale told in a straightforward, simple and humorous
style that is quite similar in tone to the later Uncle Wiggily
stories.
Exactly why Howard Garis stopped producing the Jonkin series
is a bit of a mystery. One possiblity is that Garis, a fast
writer, may have written all the stories in a couple of sittings,
sold the entire batch to Argosy, and moved on to another
project without looking back. If the stories were written over
the period of months, however, there is a more likely
explanation. In 1906, Garis was introduced to Edward Stratemeyer
of the Stratemeyer Syndicate (more on this in a later article).
Working for Stratemeyer meant giving up certain rights, but it
also meant a guaranteed income. Once Garis accepted the terms of
working for Stratemeyer, there is a good chance that he may have
simply given up on freelance writing constraints. Outside of the
Uncle Wiggily stories, there is no record of his producing any
more short stories after the Jonkin series.
Introduction ©Bob Gay
November, 2004
After Professor Jeptha Jonkin had, by
skillful grafting and care, succeeded in raising a single tree
that produced, at different seasons, apples, oranges, pineapples,
figs, cocoanuts, and peaches, it might have been supposed he
would rest from his scientific labors. But Professor Jonkin was
not that kind of a man.
He was continually striving to grow something new in the plant
world. So it was no surprise to Bradley Adams, when calling on
his friend the professor one afternoon, to find that scientist
busy in his large conservatory.
"What are you up to now?" asked Adams. "Trying
to make a rosebush produce violets, or a honeysuckle vine bring
forth pumpkins?"
"Neither," replied Professor Jonkin a little
stiffly, for he resented Adams' playful tone. "Not that
either of those things would be difficult. But look at
that."
He pointed to a small plant with bright, glossy green leaves
mottled with red spots. The thing was growing in a large earthen
pot.
It bore three flowers, about the size of morning glories, and
not unlike that blossom in shape, save, near the top, there was a
sort of lid, similar to the flap observed on a jack-in-the-pulpit
plant.
"Look down one of those flowers," went on the
professor, and Adams, wondering what was to come, did so.
He saw within a small tube, lined with fine, hair-like
filaments, which seemed to be in motion. And the shaft or tube
went down to the bottom of the morning-glory-shaped part of the
flower. At the lower extremity was a little clear liquid.
"Kind of a queer blossom. What is it?" asked
Adams.
"That," said the professor with a note of pride in
his voice, "is a specimen of the Sarracenia
Nepenthis."
"What's that? French for sunflower, or Latin for
sweet pea?" asked Adams irreverently.
"It is Latin for pitcher plant," responded the
professor, drawing himself up to his full height of five feet
three. "One of the most interesting of the South American
flora."
"The name fits it pretty well," observed Adams.
"I see there's water at the bottom. I suppose this
isn't the pitcher that went to the well too often."
"The Sarracenia Nepenthis is a most wonderful
plant," went on the professor in his lecture voice, not
heeding Adams' joking remarks. "It belongs to what
Darwin calls the carnivorous family of flowers, and other
varieties of the same species are the Dionaea Muscipula,
or Venus Fly-trap, the Darlingtonia, the
Pinguicula and Aldrovandra, as well
as--"
"Hold on, professor," pleaded Adams. "I'll
take the rest on faith. Tell me about this pitcher plant, sounds
interesting."
"It is interesting," said Professor Jonkin.
"It eats insects."
"Eats insects?"
"Certainly. Watch."
The professor opened a small wire cage lying on a shelf and
took from it several flies. These he liberated close to the queer
plant. The insects buzzed about a few seconds, dazed with their
sudden liberty. Then they began slowly to circle in the vicinity
of the strange flowers. Nearer and nearer the blossoms they came,
attracted by some subtle perfume, as well as by a sweet syrup
that was on the edge of the petals, put there by nature for the
very purpose of drawing hapless insects into the trap.
The flies settled down, some on the petals of all three
blooms. Then a curious thing happened.
The little hair-like filaments in the tube within the petals
suddenly reached out and wound themselves about the insects
feeding on the sweet stuff, which seemed to intoxicate them. In
an instant the flies were pulled to the top of the flower shaft
by a contraction of the hairs, and then they went tumbling down
the tube into the miniature pond below, where they were drowned
after a brief struggle. Their crawling back was prevented by
spines growing with points down, as the wires in some rat-traps
are fastened. Meanwhile the cover of the plant closed down.
"Why, it's a regular fly-trap, isn't it?"
remarked Adams, much surprised.
"It is," replied the professor. "The plant
lives off the insects it captures. It absorbs them, digests them,
and, when it is hungry again, catches more."
"Where'd you get such an uncanny thing?" asked
Adams, moving away from the plant as if he feared it might take a
sample bite out of him.
"A friend sent it to me from Brazil."
"But you're not going to keep it, I hope."
"I certainly am," rejoined Professor Jonkin.
"Maybe you're going to train it to come to the table
and eat like a human being," suggested Adams, with a laugh
that nettled the professor.
"I wouldn't have to train it much to induce it to be
polite," snapped back the owner of the pitcher plant.
And then, seeing that his jokes were not relished, Adams
assumed an interest he did not feel, and listened to a long
dissertation on botany in general and carnivorous plants in
particular. He would much rather have been eating some of the
queer hybrid fruits the professor raised. He pleaded an
engagement when he saw an opening in the talk, and went away.
It was some months after that before he saw the professor
again. The botanist was busy in his conservatory in the meantime,
and the gardener he hired to do rough work noticed that his
master spent much time in that part of the glass house where the
pitcher plant was growing.
For Professor Jonkin had become so much interested in his
latest acquisition that he seemed to think of nothing else. His
plan for increasing strawberries to the size of peaches was
abandoned for a time, as was his pet scheme of raising apples
without any core.
The gardener wondered what there was about the South American
blossoms to require such close attention.
One day he thought he would find out, and he started to enter
that part of the conservatory where the pitcher plant was
growing. Professor Jonkin halted him before he had stepped inside
and sternly bade him never to appear there again.
As the gardener, crestfallen, moved away after a glimpse into
the forbidden region he muttered: "My, that plant has
certainly grown! And I wonder what the professor was doing so
close to it. Looked as if he was feeding the thing."
As the days went by the conduct of Professor Jonkin became
more and more curious. He scarcely left the southern end of the
conservatory, save at night, when he entered his house to
sleep.
He was a bachelor, and had no family cares to trouble him, so
he could spend all his time among his plants. But hitherto he had
divided his attention among his many experiments in the floral
kingdom.
Now he was always with his mysterious pitcher plant. He even
had his meals sent into the green-house.
"Be you keepin' boarders?" asked the butcher boy
of the gardener one day, passing on his return to the store, his
empty basket on his arm.
"No. Why?"
"The professor is orderin' so much meat lately. I
thought you had company."
"No, there's only us two. Mr. Adams used to come to
dinner once in a while, but not lately."
"Then you an' the professor must have big
appetites."
"What makes you think so?"
"The number of beefsteaks you eat."
"Number of beefsteaks? Why, my lad, the professor and I
are both vegetarians."
"What's them?"
"We neither of us eat a bit of meat. We don't believe
it's healthy."
"Then what becomes of the three big porterhouse steaks I
deliver to the professor in the green-house every day?"
"Porterhouse steaks?" questioned the gardener,
amazed. "Do you feed 'em to the dog?"
"We don't keep a dog."
But the butcher boy questioned no further, for he saw a chum
and hastened off to join him.
"Three porterhouse steaks a day!" mused the
gardener, shaking his head. "I do hope the professor has not
ceased to be a vegetarian. Yet it looks mighty suspicious. And
he's doing it on the sly, too, for there's been no meat
cooked in the house, of that I'm sure."
And the gardener, sorely puzzled over the mystery, went off,
shaking his head more solemnly than before.
He resolved to have a look in the place the professor guarded
so carefully. He tried the door when he was sure his master was
in another part of the conservatory, but it was locked, and no
key the gardener had would unfasten it.
A month after the gardener had heard of the porterhouse
steaks, Adams happened to drop in to see the professor again.
"He's in with the Sarracenia Nepenthis," said
the gardener in answer to the visitor's inquiry. "But I
doubt if he will let you enter."
"Why won't he?"
"Because he's become mighty close-mouthed of late
over that pitcher plant."
"Oh, I guess he'll see me," remarked Adams
confidently, and he knocked on the door that shut off the locked
section of the green-house from the main portion.
"Who's there?" called the professor.
"Adams."
"Oh," in a more conciliatory tone. "I was just
wishing you'd come along. I have something to show
you."
Professor Jonkin opened the door, and the sight that met
Adams' gaze startled him.
The only plant in that part of the conservatory was a single
specimen of the Sarracenia Nepenthis. Yet it had attained such
enormous proportions that at first Adams thought he must be
dreaming.
"What do. you think of that for an achievement in
science?" asked the professor proudly.
"Do you mean to say that is the small, fly-catching plant
your friend sent you from Brazil?"
"The same."
"But—but—"
"But how it's grown, that's what you want to say,
isn't it?"
"It is. How did you do it?"
"By dieting the blossoms."
"You mean—?"
"I mean feeding them. Listen. I reasoned that if a small
blossom of the plant would thrive on a few insects, by giving it
larger meals I might get a bigger plant. So I made my plans.
"First I cut off all but one blossom, so that the
strength of the plant would nourish that alone. Then I made out a
bill of fare. I began feeding it on chopped beef. The plant took
to it like a puppy. It seemed to beg for more. From chopped meat
I went to small pieces, cut up. I could fairly see the blossom
increase in size. From that I went to choice mutton chops, and,
after a week of them, with the plant becoming more gigantic all
the while, I increased its meals to a porterhouse steak a day.
And now—"
The professor paused to contemplate his botanical work.
"Well, now?" questioned Adams.
"Now," went on the professor proudly, "my
pitcher plant takes three big beefsteaks every day—one for
breakfast, one for dinner, and one for supper. And see the
result."
Adams gazed at the immense plant. From a growth about as big
as an Easter lily it had increased until the top was near the
roof of the greenhouse, twenty-five feet above. About fifteen
feet up, or ten feet from the top, there branched out a great
flower, about eight feet long and three feet across the
bell-shaped mouth, which except for the cap or cover, was not
unlike the opening of an immense morning glory. The flower was
heavy, and the stalk on which it grew was not strong enough to
support it upright. So a rude scaffolding had been constructed of
wood and boards, and on a frame the flower was held upright.
In order to see it to better advantage, and also that he might
feed it, the professor had a ladder by which he could ascend to a
small platform in front of the bell-shaped mouth of the
blossom.
"It is time to give my pet its meal," he announced,
as if he were speaking of some favorite horse. "Want to come
up and watch it eat?"
"No, thank you," responded Adams. "It's too
uncanny." The professor took a large steak, one of the three
which the butcher boy had left that day. Holding it in his hand,
he climbed up the ladder and was soon on the platform in front of
the plant.
Adams watched him curiously. The professor leaned over to toss
the steak into the yawning mouth of the flower.
Suddenly Adams saw him totter, throw his arms wildly in the
air, and then, as if drawn by some overpowering force, he fell
forward, lost his balance, and toppled into the maw of the
pitcher plant!
There was a jar to the stalk and blossom as the professor fell
within. He went head first into the tube, or eating apparatus of
the strange plant, his legs sticking out for an instant, kicking
wildly. Then he disappeared entirely.
Adams didn't know whether to laugh or be alarmed. He
mounted the ladder, and stood in amazement before the result of
the professor's work as he looked down into the depth of the
gigantic flower, increased a hundred times in size.
He was aware of a strange, sickish-sweet odor that seemed to
steal over his senses. It was lulling him to sleep, and he fought
against it. Then he looked down and saw that the huge hairs or
filaments with which the tube was lined were in violent
motion.
He could just discern the professor's feet about three
feet below the rim of the flower. They were kicking, but with a
force growing less every second. The filaments seemed to be
winding about the professor's legs, holding him in a deadly
embrace.
Then the top cover, or flap of the plant, closed down
suddenly. The professor was a prisoner inside.
The plant had turned cannibal and eaten the man who had grown
it! For an instant, fear deprived Adams of reason. He did not
know what to do. Then the awful plight of his friend brought back
his senses.
"Professor!" he shouted. "Are you alive? Can
you hear me?"
"Yes," came back in faint and muffled tones.
"This beast has me, all right."
Then followed a series of violent struggles that shook the
plant.
"I'll get you out. Where's an ax? I'll chop
the cursed plant to pieces!" cried Adams.
"Don't! Don't" came in almost pleading tones
from the imprisoned professor.
"Don't what?"
"Don't hurt my pet!"
"Your pet!" snorted Adams angrily. "Nice kind
of a pet you have! One that tries to eat you alive! But I've
got to do something if I want to save you. Where's the
ax?"
"No! No!" begged the professor, his voice becoming
more and more muffled. "Use chloroform."
"Use what?"
"Chloroform! You'll find some in the
closet."
Then Adams saw what the professor's idea was. The plant
could be made insensible, and the imprisoned man released with no
harm to the blossom.
He raced down the ladder, ran to a closet where he had seen
the professor's stock of drugs and chemicals stowed away on
the occasion of former visits, and grabbed a big bottle of
chloroform. He caught up a towel and ran back up the ladder.
Not a sign of the professor could be seen. The plant had
swallowed him up, but by the motion and swaying of the flower
Adams knew his friend was yet alive.
He was in some doubt as to the success of this method, and
would rather have taken an ax and chopped a hole in the side of
the blossom, thus releasing the captive. But he decided to obey
the professor.
Saturating the towel well with the chloroform, and holding his
nose away from it, he pressed the wet cloth over the top of the
blossom where the lid touched the edge of the bloom.
There was a slight opening at one point, and Adams poured some
of the chloroform down this. He feared lest the fumes of the
anesthetic might overpower the professor also, but he knew they
would soon pass away if this happened.
For several minutes he waited anxiously. Would the plan
succeed? Would the plant be overcome before it had killed the
professor inside?
Adams was in a fever of terror. Again and again he saturated
the towel with the powerful drug. Then he had the satisfaction of
seeing the lid of the pitcher plant relax.
It slowly lifted and fell over to one side, making a
good-sized opening. The strong filaments, not unlike the arms of
a devil fish, Adams thought, were no longer in uneasy motion.
They had released their grip on the professor's legs and
body.
The spines which had pointed downward, holding the plant's
prey, now became limber.
Adams leaned over. He reached down, grasped the professor by
the feet, and, being a strong man, while his friend was small and
light, he pulled him from the tube of the flower, a little dazed
from the fumes of the chloroform the plant bad breathed in, but
otherwise not much the worse for his adventure.
He had not reached the water at the bottom of the tube, which
fact saved him from drowning.
"Well, you certainly had a narrow squeak," observed
Adams as he helped the professor down the ladder.
"I did," admitted the botanist. "If you had not
been on hand I don't know what would have happened. I suppose
I would have been eaten alive."
"Unless you could have cut yourself out of the side of
the flower with your knife," observed Adams.
"What! And killed the plant I raised with such
pains?" ejaculated the professor. "Spoil the largest
Sarracenia Nepenthis in the world? I guess not. I would rather
have let it eat me."
"I think you ought to call it the cannibal plant instead
of the pitcher plant," suggested Adams.
"Oh, no," responded the professor dreamily,
examining the flower from a distance to see if any harm had come
to it. "But to punish it, I will not give it any supper or
breakfast. That's what it gets for being naughty," he
added as if the plant were a child.
"And I suggest that when you feed it hereafter,"
said Adams, "you pass the beefsteaks in on a pitch-fork. You
won't run so much danger then."
"That's a good idea. I'll do it," answered
the professor heartily. And he has followed that plan ever
since.
A careful search of
copyright records has shown that this story is in the Public
Domain.
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